*KatieStateAlchemist

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the fucking joy......

Journal Entry: Wed Dec 23, 2009, 11:03 PM

Hey all, ok I’ll just get to the point, as some of you guys read from *Cipher-032’s journal that I’m not having the best of times right now. It’s kinda embarrassing to say, but I guess I can round about tell you guys what’s happening. Ok here we go…..

Ok my dad has a attendance to turn into the fucking devil and destroy every think in the house….. yeah….. ok lately he’s had to deal with a lot of shit and I guess he wanted to take it out on us (me and my mom) it all started when we went to someone’s house, and the dumbass that lived there thought that it was a good fucking idea to give my father some liquor……..my dad gets very mean on liquor…….let me put it this way, giving my dad one shot of Jack Daniels is like giving a cocked and loaded gun to a 5 year old, you know at some point it is going to go off. So he was all happy and fine until we got home, the second we walked in the door, he wanted to cuss us out, for absolutely no fucking reason! At all! We did nothing wrong!! That’s what pisses me for the most, he told us how much he hated us and couldn’t stand to be around us, and how much he would like to kill us! And we did nothing wrong, at all! yeah, and he says his a good fucking dad….. Saying that he is a good dad is like saying “well he hasn’t killed his own daughter yet, so I guess he’s a great dad!” like what the fuck! I know it’s bad to say, but I really hate my dad, and he hates me too, you can’t tell your own daughter how much you would like to grab her by the neck and choke the life out of her and have any love in your heart for this person! You can’t! I don’t care how mad you are at someone, you can say that to someone that you love, you just can’t! so I know that he doesn’t love me, and you know what, I don’t really care anymore, I guess I don’t deserve love or to be happy, I’m so worthless that I don’t deserve anything better than this is guess, heh what I fucking life.

Anyway! After all of that he tore down the Christmas tree and broke all but like 10 ornaments, and the angel! Come on breaking the angel on top of the tree is like a sin against god his self! Oh right, he thinks he’s god anyway, so I guess that doesn’t count >.> anyway, he said that there was no more Christmas and if we put one thing up that was Christmas like I this house ever again that he would burn the whole house down. At this point me and my mom was so scared for our lives that we ran out into the woods be hide our house ( it was like 3 AM at this point) he hid way back in the woods with some blankets and a pillow, and stay there the whole night, oh and it was like 40 degrees outside too, maybe colder…..Anyway about 4 AM my time I just really needed to talk to Daryl so I called him’ crying my eyes out , laying in the middle of the woods like a idiot! But thank you so much baby for being there for me, I just needed to hear your voice so bad, I was so scared that when my day found us that he was going to kill us. And I just need to tell you that I loved you! I’m really sorry if I scared you, I’m sure I did and I’m sorry, I just needed you so bad….

so yeah, I didn’t sleep any, from 9AM that day till 5PM today, and I haven’t ate anything in 2 days. He was still ranting and raving today until like 4PM today, then he said that he was sorry for everything……gee fucking thanks pop! He told us that we could put the tree back up and gave us money to go Christmas shopping with (yeah, we haven’t done any cause we was waiting for him to allow us celebrate fucking Christmas!) so yeah were going Christmas shopping in the morning, I’ll try to get my mom some nice things, but I’m not getting him shit! And I don’t want anything either. Sure he said sorry and all but my Christmas is already over, I was already depressed this Christmas, I stay fucking depressed! I’m getting so sick of it, not like he gives a shit *sighs* all I want to do is be with Daryl right now, and I can’t even have that……. I hate my life, I really think that god hates me, and I’m starting to think that there isn’t one……I’m just so sick of everything! I’m so depress and disgusted with myself cause I’m so fucking ugly and stupid, I just don’t know how much I can take….. and mine and Daryl's first year anniversary is the 1st of January, probably going to be depressed for that too >.< and now I seriously doubt that I’m even going to get to see Daryl this April, the only thing that I was looking forward to and now I’m probably not going to get it either. And truthfully, I’m not sure that I want him to come over here…. He’s probably safer and happier over there….. don’t know why anyone would really want to spend time with me anyway…..

but yeah, there’s the story, I’m not trying to wine, just some of you wanted to know what happened so there is it……..

^{Request - not right now, ask later.
Art Trades - nope, maybe with some closer friends.
Collabs - nope, again, maybe with some closer friends.

TO DO LIST
Request for ~birdie94 :yet to start:
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Prize for ~dviouslecunning :Started:
Prize for *Sologirl-377 :done:}

^{Tehehe this time it’s only going to be fanart! Yes I’ve gotten some fanart lately so I want to show it off ^^

i love all my gifts! thank you guys sooooo much}

^{OMG! FANCLUB!! I feel so loved

Me and my Fly Boy

Best Buds

Artists's work that i just love
:}

44 Comments

Mood: Miserable
Drinking: mtn dew

Skin by *Priscillia

Devious Journal Entry

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 7, 2009, 4:40 PM

^{Hello world! I was bored so I thought I’d make a journal letting everyone know how it’s going.

Ok, first off I have decided NOT to do commission work, cause well, I don’t have a PayPal, and I don’t think I’ll be getting one soon .Plus I really don’t think my art is good enough to have people who would really want to pay me for drawing something, although that would be nice. And on top of that I don’t really have the time with college and all now. So forget I ever said anything about it for know, maybe later.

I’ll been ending my first quarter of college the 17th and boy I’m I glad. My math teacher is ok, but man do I hate my online teacher! She’s so stupid! She gives me a 0 for being 10 minute last on a test! A 0! And I’m not lying it really was only 10 minutes if that! Complete F, and then she acts like I was a fucking idiot for being late, no compassion at all. Heh and get this, she yells at me cause I was 10 minutes late and she has not graded and of my work in 3 weeks!It's like, nice going there dipshit Should give you a fuckin award... 3 fucking weeks!! I’ve done a test and 4 assignments that she hasn’t even touched, and the quarter ends next week……like what the fuck!? and she acts like I’m the stupid one…..Fucking bitch

Let’s see, umm my thanksgiving really sucked, so there’s something for ya lol. And my birthday was ok shockingly, went shopping all day, spent lots of money lol so yeah that was good XD. Would have been better if Daryl was there, but hey I doubt he would really want to go shopping with 2 women anyway XD lol (I went with my mom). But yeah, that was good.

But yeah, I think that’s about it for now, hope you all have a Merry Christmas!}

^{Tehehe this time it’s only going to be fanart! Yes I’ve gotten some fanart lately so I want to show it off ^^

Ok, first off is the pic that did for me for my birthday! I absolutely love it! It’s such a honor to get my character drawn by such a amazing artist!! Thank you so much again: hug:

I just love this one, it’s just soooo cute ^w^ I love it, it’s drawn by I really recommend that you take a look at her page, cause I don’t believe that see is well known but she is quite good, adorable style! So check her out.

Not sure if this was a gift or not but it’s ADORABLE! I love the feet X3 I love it, it’s by

And last, but not least, was the birthday pic that my loving boyfriend did for me, I just love it honey thanks again}

^{OMG! FANCLUB!! I feel so loved

Me and my Fly Boy

Best Buds

Artists's work that i just love
:}

17 Comments

Mood: Miserable
Listening to: my dad yelling at me >.<
Drinking: mtn dew

Skin by *Priscillia

woot!

Journal Entry: Tue Nov 17, 2009, 1:54 PM

^{Hello all! Random journal for everyone to get bored with, so yes….
Ok first off, did anyone see the meteor shower last night? I did! It was so pretty, I love meteor showers! I couldn’t sleep last night and I woke up about 2:30 am, and got on Yahoo and saw that there was a meteor shower that night, happening right then! So I thought, since I couldn’t sleep anyway, might as well go watch it as I was sitting there I kept thinking “I wish Daryl was here this time”. Cause when he was here in the summer there was a meteor shower, and I thought it would be so cool to watch it with him, so romantic but it wasn’t cause we didn’t see one :WTF: so the one last night would have been great! But he wasn’t here *sighs* but it was pretty anyway, lots of shooting starts
Oh yeah! Guess what……………….come-on…………………you know………………..ok I’ll tell you! Next Saturday is my birthday!! the only bad thing is…….i have no one to share it with yeah my one friend can’t be bothered to come and see me and my boyfriend…….well he lives in another country *sighs* so yeah, I guess it doesn’t matter I’ll probably go shopping that day anyway….
Also sorry about my lack of art, I have a lot of work with college and I just don’t fell like doing it any more….
Anyway I hope everyone has a happy thanksgiving!
Laters}

^{Request - not right now, ask later.
Art Trades - nope, maybe with some closer friends.
Collabs - nope, again, maybe with some closer friends.

TO DO LIST
Request for =belken117 :Yet to start:
Request for ~Freya-Angel
Request for ~Winterflight :Started:
2 Request for ~AcuraAquatosPhoenix :Yet to start:
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Prize for *Sologirl-377 :done:}

^{OMG! FANCLUB!! I feel so loved

Me and my Fly Boy

Best Buds

Artists's work that i just love
:}

33 Comments

Mood: Gloomy
Drinking: mtn dew

Skin by *Priscillia

yay for venting lol

Journal Entry: Wed Oct 14, 2009, 9:17 PM

Mood: Sympathy
Drinking: mtn dew

^{Well hello DA, and I’m hear to tell you that I have no fucking reason to be depressed!!!! Or so my dad says, yeah yes folks I was just cussed out because I’m depressed, so forgive me for venting here for a second. Try to read along and not seem like you totally hate me >.< But yeah, you heard right, my dad cussed me out because I said that I was a loser………yeah, makes prefect since right, oh your daughter thinks she’s a loser, has low self esteem and is depress for no reason all the time! Cuss her out and tell her was a fucking disappointment she is, and how she has nothing to be depressed about and all this while you are yelling this at her and she is crying in the corner, That will do her some good!!! Gee thanks dad, that helps a lot, I think I’ll just go kill myself now, Pfft dick , like that’s going to make me feel any better That must be why no one likes him >.> but yeah he cussed me out and told me all of that (plus more) and didn’t even say sorry, so I guess every thing he said was right, he just proved my point, I am a loser *sighs* sorry I keep doing this, I just feel like venting…..

Well in other news! I’ve done my first full week of college, woohoo for me…. As it turns out I do have a class at the college, so it’s not all from my room but it’s a math class, at 8:15 am, oh the joy Yeah, so I thought this would be good for me, you know, I might talk to some new people, maybe even make a friend. Well I was wrong, I’ve been there a week and no one has even smiled at much less talked to me. Plus I feel really stupid there, cause I’m slow at math and I can’t keep up with the class, plus I did really bad on my first test, so bad I’m going back tomorrow to redo it. Also the teacher gave us numbers cause….well I don’t know why, but she did. So guess what number she gave me……. that’s right unluckily number 13 woooo, I’m so fucked as if my luck wasn’t bad enough, plus 13 is the name for that one crazy sluty bi chick on House M.D. it’s like wow, you give me the name of the whore, gee thanks So great I’m a loser, have the nick name of a crazy bitch, my dad hates me, and I’m stupid! How could it get any worse…………….oh yeah my fucking mouth hurts like hell!! I’ve got one of them canker sore like things at the back of my mouth, right around my back molar. So any time I move my mouth it hurts like all get out, and it’s just getting worse, and I can’t really eat all that well now. Great as if enough people didn’t think I was anorexic *sighs* great I’m a loser emo stupid skinny bitch ……. The list just keeps adding up to how annoyingly stupid I am….

Also, with all my course work and such I haven’t really had time to do much art, and when I do have time, I can’t think of anything to draw, so please forgive my lack of my shity art work, I doubt any one would really miss my art any way >.<

And………I need to watch House, it’s been sitting in my DVR or 2 days, but between boyfriend, course work and dad cussing me out, where’s a girl got time for House, sorry Greg, you’ll just have to wait a little longer XD I’ll watch it so don’t tell me what happens!!

Well on some good news I went to some hunted houses with my friend, got the crap scared out of me, yelled “Oh shit!” in front of my friends very christian parents, oh dear, but had some good fun ^^ so that was good
Any way that’s about it, oh! I know it’s kinda early but just wanted to tell every one that my birthday is coming up!!!!! I’ll be 18!!! Woohoo! Is’t NOVEMBER 28!!!!!!! Remember that date! Lol I’d just thought I’d tell every body cause I really do love getting pictures from you guys, I really do, I appreciate every one of them, I got a few last year and that made me feel good so yeah ^^ ALSO!! My beloved boyfriend *Cipher-032’s birthday is December 2!! So make sure to do a little something for him too, cause he deserves it love you babe

Anyway that’s all I got to say really, how everybody has a safe and happy Halloween Laters!}

^{Request - not right now, ask later.
Art Trades - nope, maybe with some closer friends.
Collabs - nope, again, maybe with some closer friends.

TO DO LIST
Request for :devbelken117 :Yet to start:
Request for ~Freya-Angel
Ratchet for ~Sasukii-chan9088 :Yet to start:
2 Request for ~AcuraAquatosPhoenix :Yet to start:
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i deleted a few, sorry guys i don't have time for random request from people that really don't have anything to so with me}

^{OMG! FANCLUB!! I feel so loved

Me and my Fly Boy

Best Buds

Artists's work that i just love
:

the culbs im in}

_{Journal CSS coding by =Talei
Images by ~birdie94
brushes by [link]}

37 Comments

more ranting >.<"

Journal Entry: Tue Sep 15, 2009, 12:48 AM

Mood: Pain
Drinking: mtn dew

^{Yeah…….ok for starters! ~DG1692 has mysteriously unblocked me…….heh…….never responded to what I said…..whatever, I don’t give a shit, it appears that I got my point a crossed so I’m fine with that…

Also collage is pissing me off again…….ok what kind of collage doesn’t know when there freaking quarters start…I mean come on! I’m about to start fall quarter , they know when it starts and when it ends….that’s it! They don’t even know when winter even starts, let alone when it ends and spring quarter starts……gees, don’t they know that there dorks like me that have to go and see there British boyfriends!! *eyebrow twitch* Pfft, I guess it doesn’t matter anyway, knowing me and my stupidness I won’t be able to get the money to go anyway and I don’t want my dad to pay, cause that will be one more thing he can hang over my head till the day I die… “oh I’ve done this and this for you, what have you ever done for me!?” I’m a unemployed seven fucking teen year old!!! What in gods name can I do for you!!!!? It’s like he wants me to pay for him to go on a vacation to freaking Ireland or something, like WTF! I bet even if I did that I’d still be a disappointment to him *sighs* can’t I ever catch a break *dies*

So yeah, oh, sorry about my art lately, it haven’t been any good I know. I’m sorry >.<“

*sighs* I need a cookie….

Anyway that’s all I got to rant about for now, i mostly wanted to tell everyone thats i've been unblocked laters!}

^{OMG! FANCLUB!! I feel so loved

Me and my Fly Boy

Best Buds

all my friends and watchers

Artists's work that i just love
:

the culbs im in}

_{Journal CSS coding by =Talei
Images by ~birdie94
brushes by [link]}

37 Comments

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STAMPS!!!!!

Should I do commissions? And if so would you buy one?

54%

37 deviants said Yes, but I wouldn't buy one.

35%

24 deviants said Yeah, sure i'd buy one!

5 deviants said No....

2 deviants said Your art work isn't good enough for commissions....

20 comments, Previous Polls

Shoutbox

*KatieStateAlchemist: lol yay i'z been glomped!! lol *glomps back*
Wed Dec 23, 2009, 9:35 PM
*oOWhiplashOo: *jumps in, glomps, runs back out*
Wed Dec 23, 2009, 4:28 PM
*Ratchetl-Lover: I DEEPLY hope you get better.
Wed Dec 23, 2009, 3:11 AM
*KatieStateAlchemist: awww yes plz, i could use that
Tue Dec 22, 2009, 6:08 AM
*Cipher-032: hug time
Tue Dec 22, 2009, 1:34 AM
*KatieStateAlchemist: lol XD
Mon Dec 21, 2009, 12:33 AM
~Zukiuke: Sat Dec 19, 2009, 2:38 PM
*KatieStateAlchemist: Tue Dec 15, 2009, 7:26 PM
~sexykitten370: Wweeeeee
Tue Dec 15, 2009, 6:13 PM
*KatieStateAlchemist: awwwwwwwww ^//////^ thank you ^^
Fri Dec 11, 2009, 11:42 AM